Life Today

I don’t have a life anymore. I live in a room smaller than my closet. I wait in line for substandard food, toilet, cold shower, etc. I’m up at 6 AM and work seven days a week for a monthly salary of $23.80. If you exercise you don’t get enough food so, between meal calories, coffee, hygiene items, stamps, paper, etc. prison is an expensive place to live and not a place you ever want to spend a single night. I spent many hours lying in my cell wishing I had never answered her emails, but that was never my style when it came to stuff like this. I answered every email and text I received and can’t tell you how many stupid conversations I had with people I’d never met about whatever they wanted to talk about. The chances are pretty good that sooner or later she could have coerced me into saying something stupid and then asking to meet. My timer started when I didn’t tell her to screw off when she first contacted me. 

I have always struggled with the concept of hell, but I do not anymore. I have liquidated my life savings to fund my defense, which has cost me nearly $250,000 and this does not account for my Porsche they seized because it was used to commit a felony. This has taken away every accomplishment I have ever had in my life and feels like everything I will ever do. In addition, it has been enormously difficult on my family and a few close friends, (thanks in no small part to those baseless detention hearing stories being distributed). It hurts knowing (well, thinking) I had about 100 friends I thought I could count on reduced to 5. The accusation of being a pedophile by a cop (who said much worse things than I did), the sideshow of the trial, and then getting essentially a life sentence for a government-created crime is pretty much hell to me. I didn’t think life could get much worse in here but then we got hit with Covid 19 last month. 

As soon as the first case hit we went on full lockdown (no sunshine, no fresh air, sack lunches, etc). Despite this, the virus continues to spread because we are living on top of each other. As expected, I contracted the virus along with about 80% of the guys on my cell block. Most of us chose to ride it out in our various prison cells. If they can’t save someone’s life in a real hospital… they can’t save it in a prison infirmary. Ten inmates have died here, and it is still spreading. Every day people in hazmat suits arrive and remove the sickest amongst us to some recovery tent. This will work alright I suppose until a really bad storm or tornado hits us. I swear prisons in America would rather send people back to their families in a body bag than let anyone out of prison a day early.